The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
