Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize