You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I did not marry a roomba.
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