PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize