I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
