Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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