Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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