3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
