so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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