Did you just see the Batmobile???
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize