I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
