dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize