She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we're making bets on your personal life
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
