how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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