I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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