I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
