She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
