dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
