glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
