I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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