Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
did you just send me my own nude
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
