you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
