I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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