they need to just BURY HIM!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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