OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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