No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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