Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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