I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize