I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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