I could have mohawked her pubes.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize