from now on my penis is your penis
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
