Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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