i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
