The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
