he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
