someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
