Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
