Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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