You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
