Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
