I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
