"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
