dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize