Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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