don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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