As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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