I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She bit a glass in half.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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