After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
