that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
