super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
