"it" just moved
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
