It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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