So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
