I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
