I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
