haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
