Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
