When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
