Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
