At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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