Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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