Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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