just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Alive.
So much puke
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
