Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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