I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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