I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
