Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
